Before four years ago the only time I really would think about myself and reflect on what I had accomplished big or small for the past year was the week or days before new year’s eve.
I probably didn’t want to look back at all of things I said I wanted to accomplish and never did. For years I would come up with a list of new resolutions and by February/March I would not remember half of the list.
For those of us that live with depression we know very well that when we don’t complete that task or goal, we sink even deeper into what I call a “funk”, and at times it took months to dig my way out, because I had not only disappointed myself but probably had let down someone else with my unfulfilled promises.
When I first started this journey of finding my own happiness and not counting on others to make me feel happy about myself. It was a huge struggle in the beginning and still to this day I have my challenges.
To help prevent from disappointing myself and stop feeling bad about who I was all the time.
I started practicing the following activities and gradually with time my journey to my own happiness began.
I started to set small realistic goals and/or steps. I realized very fast that I did not need to wait until the end of the year to reset.
OPEN YOUR HEART TO BE TRULY GREATFUL
When I wake up almost every day I consciously think of how grateful and thankful I am for all of the blessings in my life. Like most people I do not have an extra 30 minutes to sit in silence and reflect. Some days I only take a quick few minutes to think about it, before getting the kids ready for school, or having that ten minute window before I am officially going to be late for work, again.
When I first started doing this practice, it was hard to find things to be grateful for, apart from thinking of the obvious which is being thankful for a healthy family, a roof over head etc. Opening your heart to being grateful is also looking at everything as a whole and in also all of the small details too. Some mornings for example I’m thankful that my youngest isn’t having a melt down before I leave the house to go to work. Or maybe the day before I had a very challenging situation where I was thankful to have a new fresh day to start again and do better. As you start practicing this almost daily it will get a lot easier to see all that you are blessed with big or small, and begin your day positive with a clear mind.
BE YOUR TRUE SELF, WHO CARES WHO IS LOOKING
For many years I was constantly thinking of what others thought of me and was always trying to please others and make sure they were happy before my happiness. This sort of attitude made me believe that I would be very selfish if I decided to do something just for myself. During my journey I have learned that if I am not happy with myself inside and out then how would I be able to make others happy. I started to do things that I hadn’t done in years that I enjoyed so much before. In the beginning it was hard for me to do things on my own, but in time I started meeting people with the same interests and passions. It is hard to put in words but the best way to describe this is by letting myself do what I wanted, just for me and my happiness ignited a feeling of becoming alive of who I truly am. Don’t get me wrong, I do continue to be just as dedicated to my family life as before, but I make the extra effort to squeeze in time for me too. There will always be those that will say a comment here or there asking “how do find time for your kids?” I just smile and stay quite.
JUST DO IT
I’m not going to sugar coat the next part, because it can be exhausting at times but this year by far has been one of the most accomplished years I have had for my OWN self.
I set my realistic small goals and have been able to do so many projects that I had on the back burner for so, so long. Since I love to plan and organize that sometimes is my down fall because I want everything to be perfect before I can do that next step, but this year I loosened the reigns and have been able to accomplish so much more. If you have something that you have been planning to do I can’t find that “perfect” JUST DO IT!
As we ring in the new year I wish you much joy and happiness that you truly deserve!