Every time I see this picture of me with the boys outside doing a camp activity, brings a smile and a sense of relief at the same time. It may look like a simple picture of the three of us smiling, but what you don’t see is what I had to go through to be in this picture.
Once our middle son was ready to join Cub Scout my husband immediately signed him up that Fall. Christian was seven in the first grade and Jimmy was still too young to join at age four.
Until that point my depression was a norm for me. I would go to work Monday through Friday and almost do nothing on the weekends unless it was very necessary.
Christian had just began playing sports that past Spring and it was such a struggle to get up early on the weekends to take him to his games, so when I saw the calendar of events for Cub Scouts with weekend field trips for Scouts and families, weekly den meetings, quarterly camp outs and volunteer opportunists. My anxiety went up the roof and I knew that this had to be a turning point for me to try my best to be part of these activities even if I knew it would be a struggle to get me out of the house.
Going back to the picture of the three of us. It was a Spring camp out and it was pouring outside and was calling for rain all day. All week I was in a funk that I could not shake and with the weather calling for rain, I did not want to go camping at all. The boys begged that I go with them and I had made every excuse to stay home.
That morning they left without me and I remember being home alone lying on the coach looking outside the window with the rain coming down. All at the same time I felt so mad, sad and frustrated at myself for making steps forward then taking more steps back. After a few hours of in and out sleeping and crying, I cleaned myself up and joined the family at the camp out!It was still raining hard when I got to the campsite and everyone was under the pavilion doing as many activities as they could with the bad weather. About an hour later, the sky began to clear and the sun joined us for the rest of the day. It turned out being one of the best camp outs I had been too.
My boys were happy that I had joined them and I was so happy that I ended up being part of their weekend.
Going forward to today and our family Scout life. Christian crossed over to Boy Scouts three years ago and tonight our youngest has bridged over to his brother's troop.
I can not take any credit for getting these boys to where they are today with Scouts because it was their dad that helped with all of their requirements and activities, but I will always be so thankful to Boy Scouts for not only teaching out boys such great life skills but also for helping me develop more with my social skills and more importantly create beautiful family memories that we will cherish always of the boys growing up.
Happy Spring and enjoy all the big and small moments with family and friends.