Thank You

 

 

 

 Every time I see this picture of me with the boys outside doing a camp activity, brings a smile and a sense of relief at the same time.  It may look like a simple picture of the three of us smiling, but what you don’t see is what I had to go through to be in this picture. 

Once our middle son was ready to join Cub Scout my husband immediately signed him up that Fall.  Christian was seven in the first grade and Jimmy was still too young to join at age four.

Until that point my depression was a norm for me.  I would go to work Monday through Friday and almost do nothing on the weekends unless it was very necessary.

 

Christian had just began playing sports that past Spring and  it was such a struggle to get up early on the weekends to take him to his games, so when I saw the calendar of events for Cub Scouts with weekend field trips for Scouts and families, weekly den meetings, quarterly camp outs and volunteer opportunists.  My anxiety went up the roof and I knew that this had to be a turning point for me to try my best to be part of these activities even if I knew it would be a struggle to get me out of the house.

It was so hard in the beginning meeting new people and going places I had never been too, but slowly I got to know some of the parents becoming friends with them, as our children too were enjoying each others company.  It got to the point where I looked forward to see where the next outing was going to be.  The camp outs were not always my favorite but I did it for the boys and my husband.   

Going back to the picture of the three of us.  It was a Spring camp out and it was pouring outside and was calling for rain all day.  All week I was in a funk that I could not shake and with the weather calling for rain, I did not want to go camping at all.  The boys begged that I go with them and I had made every excuse to stay home.

That morning they left without me and I remember being home alone lying on the coach looking outside the window with the rain coming down. All at the same time I felt so mad, sad and frustrated at myself for making steps forward then taking more steps back.  After a few hours of in and out sleeping and crying, I cleaned myself up and joined the family at the camp out!

It was still raining hard when I got to the campsite and everyone was under the pavilion doing as many activities as they could with the bad weather.  About an hour later, the sky began to clear and the sun joined us for the rest of the day.  It turned out being one of the best camp outs I had been too.

My boys were happy that I had joined them and I was so happy that I ended up being part of their weekend.

Going forward to today and our family Scout life.  Christian crossed over to Boy Scouts three years ago and tonight our youngest has bridged over to his brother's troop.

I can not take any credit for getting these boys to where they are today with Scouts because it was their dad that helped with all of their requirements and activities, but I will always be so thankful to Boy Scouts for not only teaching out boys such great life skills but also for helping me develop more with my social skills and more importantly create beautiful family memories that we will cherish always of the boys growing up.

 

Happy Spring and enjoy all the big and small moments with family and friends.

 

XOXO, 

DG Blooming 

14 Years and Counting...

What I was looking for in a life partner were two main things,  One was to find someone that would love my oldest son and be a great role model for him.  Two, was to have someone that really had family values that would put our immediate family first.

At 29 and being a single mom for over 10 years, I thought marriage may just not be in my future at all.  Then I met my husband.  We were friends for a few months before we went on our first date.  I knew by the second or third date that he was the one, about six months later we were engaged. A year later is where our story began October 9, 20004.

Marriage is about two people growing together and having a family if that is what you choose to do, but it’s important not to loose yourself during the journey, because if you are not happy with yourself, how can you make others happy.

 Each marriage is different and what keeps my marriage healthy is based on our relationship, but I    wanted to share a few things that I feel have helped our marriage reach to 14 years and counting.

1.        No matter what the argument is about, who started it, who ended it, never go to sleep being angry with each other, or sleep in separate beds for the night. 

2.       Even if you do not have two extra rooms in your home, always let your other half have his man cave and you can have your lady den or some small dedicated desk, corner, or nook, where each of you can retreat and have your own things or knickknacks.

3.       Respect each other‘s time, when wanting to do things on your own or with or friends from time to time.

4.       Date night can get very challenging when raising children.   I tried to put things on the calendar and it wouldn’t work out, so once a quarter I’ll put a reminder date night and then try to fit it in.   I feel like we already have so many schedules, appointments and deadlines that we shouldn’t have to be so stressed out if we couldn’t make our date night work out.

5.       Find at least two things that you can do as a couple together it can be as simple as watching a show you both enjoy, walk your dog together or take a dance class.

6.       Last part and probably for him is the most important thing on this list, which is very simple.  Yes, ladies we are tired, we juggle 10 million things from the minute we wake up, but at the end of the day at least once or twice a week you have to keep him satisfied in the bedroom.   

7.       When you met him, he may have had some annoying quirks that you may still be trying to change.  Give it up, use your energy to work on something that makes you both grow together.

XOXO,

D. Blooming

You Are Never Alone

I started this blog in 2017 to share my journey of living my life to the fullest as a wife and mother while following my passions to do things that I love to do for myself.

I had commented to a friend a few weeks ago, that since my dream of pursuing a career in event planning has kept me very busy in a really good way, I have not posted a blog post in a very long time.

She asked me why do I even want to continue blogging with my hectic schedule, and I immediately responded that if at least one person read one of my blog posts and could relate or help them in some way, then making a little time to write something to share with others has been worth it.
                                                       

MY GUARDIAN ANGEL

As we go into the Fall season this weekend I have noticed for some years now, that I go through a transition from a less hectic summer schedule with longer days to do things with the family and projects, to a rushing around September getting back to the school schedule and other activities.

My anxiety during this transition usually runs really high and last week, I had to have some hard family adult conversations, that I have been putting off with some family members that has me in a down cycle funk this week.

As I have gotten older it has become easier for me to really listen to others and help them talk out their issues but when I have my own feelings to sort out, or make myself accept things in my life that I do not have control of, I tend to just look the other way and not deal with the emotions, but last week, this one issue I have had tucked away for a long time finally had to be dealt with.

Long story short all of the emotions and anxiety from last week, made me feel physically ill and could barley get out of bed today.  By mid day I was coming around and a dear friend of mine popped in my head.  I realized it would have been her birthday next week.

Brenda is truly my Guardian Angel, who I met almost 18 years ago when I was in my mid 20's as a very introverted single mother.  We met at work and she quickly became a mentor for me.  She was a confinement, warm person that was married to an amazing man that adored her.  Brenda introduced me to so many new things from Barbara Streisand movies and songs, good wine and so much more but what was the most important was how she helped me talk through some tough decisions I had to make during that time.  Even though I was already a mother of a five year old, I still needed a lot of growing up to do and she was there for me.

 With time Brenda opened up to me like I had so fast after we had met.  I admired her so much for how brave she was for overcoming so much from her childhood.  I was blessed to know her for  about two years and all that I was able to learn from her.  The last time I saw her on that Monday, June 1st so many years ago, she asked if I would go to happy hour with her after work, but I couldn't because of a friends birthday dinner.

The next day her husband came to our job desperately looking for Brenda who had not come home the night before and had left him a good bye note.  The police,me and all of her other friends helped with the search.  A week later she was found, Brenda decided for her own reasons that some did not understand, but I did, she felt it was better to leave us.

For many years I felt so much guilt for not hanging out with her that night, that maybe if I had been with her, she would have decided not to go through with her suicide.

I am at peace with it all now and know that she is my Guardian Angel and from time to time she pops in my mind just because, or when I'm going through tough moments and need to make decisions.

As I was home today not feeling so great, I was sitting in my chair wrapped in a comforter and I suddenly realized that the comforter used to belong to Brenda and that next week would have been her

birthday.  Just like that, I knew she was there with me and I knew that things were going to get better.

Happy Birthday to my Guardian Angel:)!


XOXO,

D. Blooming

2018 Craft Your Own Happiness

Before four years ago the only time I really would think about myself and reflect on what I had accomplished big or small for the past year was the week or days before new year’s eve.

I probably didn’t want to look back at all of things I said I wanted to accomplish and never did.  For years I would come up with a list of new resolutions and by February/March I would not remember half of the list.

For those of us that live with depression we know very well that when we don’t complete that task or goal, we sink even deeper into what I call a “funk”, and at times it took months to dig my way out, because I had not only disappointed myself but probably had let down someone else with my unfulfilled promises.

When I first started this journey of finding my own happiness and not counting on others to make me feel happy about myself.  It was a huge struggle in the beginning and still to this day I have my challenges.

To help prevent from disappointing myself and stop feeling bad about who I was all the time. 

I started practicing the following activities and gradually with time my journey to my own happiness began.

BEING REALISTIC

I started to set small realistic goals and/or steps.  I realized very fast that I did not need to wait until the end of the year to reset. 

OPEN YOUR HEART TO BE TRULY GREATFUL

When I wake up almost every day I consciously think of how grateful and thankful I am for all of the blessings in my life. Like most people I do not have an extra 30 minutes to sit in silence and reflect.  Some days I only take a quick few minutes to think about it, before getting the kids ready for school, or having that ten minute window before I am officially going to be late for work, again.

When I first started doing this practice, it was hard to find things to be grateful for, apart from thinking of the obvious which is being thankful for a healthy family, a roof over head etc.  Opening your heart to being grateful is also looking at everything as a whole and in also all of the small details too.  Some mornings for example I’m thankful that my youngest isn’t having a melt down before I leave the house to go to work.  Or maybe the day before I had a very challenging situation where I was thankful to have a new fresh day to start again and do better.  As you start practicing this almost daily it will get a lot easier to see all that you are blessed with big or small, and begin your day positive with a clear mind. 

BE YOUR TRUE SELF, WHO CARES WHO IS LOOKING

For many years I was constantly thinking of what others thought of me and was always trying to please others and make sure they were happy before my happiness.  This sort of attitude made me believe that I would be very selfish if I decided to do something just for myself.  During my journey I have learned that if I am not happy with myself inside and out then how would I be able to make others happy.  I started to do things that I hadn’t done in years that I enjoyed so much before.  In the beginning it was hard for me to do things on my own, but in time I started meeting people with the same interests and passions.  It is hard to put in words but the best way to describe this is by letting myself do what I wanted, just for me and my happiness ignited a feeling of becoming alive of who I truly am.  Don’t get me wrong, I do continue to be just as dedicated to my family life as before, but I make the extra effort to squeeze in time for me too.  There will always be those that will say a comment here or there asking “how do find time for your kids?”  I just smile and stay quite.

JUST DO IT

I’m not going to sugar coat the next part, because it can be exhausting at times but this year by far has been one of the most accomplished years I have had for my OWN self.

I set my realistic small goals and have been able to do so many projects that I had on the back burner for so, so long.  Since I love to plan and organize that sometimes is my down fall because I want everything to be perfect before I can do that next step, but this year I loosened the reigns and have been able to accomplish so much more.  If you have something that you have been planning to do I can’t find that “perfect”  JUST DO IT!

As we ring in the new year I wish you much joy and happiness that you truly deserve!

XOXO,

D. Blooming

Me, Myself, & I

 I was very insecure growing up. I never was petite or thin and was always one of tallest, big boned girls. I was very shy and introverted.  I was so timid that I didn't even put my hand up in class, even if needed help or to ask a question, because I did not want everyone to look at me. Being so shy and introverted caused me to have barely any confidence.  

As a young adult, I had my oldest son when I was 20 with my high school sweetheart. At that time, I thought we were going to be together forever and become a family with a father and mother for our son. It was what I had wanted in life growing up. As our son, Alex, turned a year old, his father and I had finally called it quits.

Having a child at 20 and already having self-image issues made me even more obsessed with how I looked. It didn't help that right after Alex's dad and I broke up that he moved on to a very petite lady, who had what I thought at that time was the perfect body. 

All my life, I've gone up and down in weight. I've tried different diets and different exercises. But the honest truth is that I've never been into sports and exercise. It's just not my thing.

The summer of the big break-up, I was 21, heartbroken, and disappointed in myself for not giving my son the family I had always wanted for myself and him.  I decided that I didn't want to rush into anything serious for a long time and, instead, enjoy my new-found freedom.  

Almost at the end of summer, I met a man who was so different from any man I had dated before. He was
very confident and charismatic and not a serious relationship type-of-guy which was perfect for that time in my life. I should have seen the red flag when we were making plans for a second date because he told me to make sure I wore makeup.

I'm not sure why I lasted so long with him but during those four years he would always show me examples of what the ideal woman would look like for him which, of course, was opposite to what I physically looked like. I was so naive then that I had convinced myself that I was so fortunate to date such a man and tried all these crazy crash diets to try and make him look at me the way he looked at other women. Even after I lost 30 pounds, he didn’t notice a huge difference in my appearance.

During those four years together we got engaged for a few months. You may be asking why I stayed with Mr. Wrong for so long.

I believe the reason was because I thought he was a good person, as far as the way he treated his mom, dad, and sister, and foolishly thought that eventually he would be that same way with me.

I also, as an only child, I hated being alone. I had invested so much time with him. As I was approaching 30 years old, my thinking was "who would be interested in me?"

I eventually came to my senses and acknowledged the reality that he was not marriage material and we would never have the family that I had envisioned for Alex and me.

For the next three years, I was single and dated here and there. It gave me time to really find out what I was looking for in a life partner.

This past October, I celebrated my 13th wedding anniversary with the man that checked off all the boxes for my ideal husband. We met briefly one night while I was picking up a friend from work. I remember that we were introduced to each other and talked for barely a minute. He then said he would be right back and never returned. At the time, I didn’t pay it any attention.

About a year late, I ended up working at the same place part-time and he was still working there.

He ended up telling me why he left so abruptly when we first met. It was because he was so smitten with me that he wanted to freshen up, since he was just finishing up a busy shift. He did return but by the time the slow elevators came up and down we had left.

After only 6 months, he proposed. From the very beginning, he treated me like every woman deserves to be treated. He loved me for who I was inside and out and even to this day I am the ideal type of woman for him.

Through these 13 years together, he has been my number one supporter with all that I do professionally and personally.

I will soon be celebrating my 43rd birthday and am very comfortable in my skin. People that have just met me more recently cannot believe that I used to be an introverted person.

With this new blossoming chapter in my life, I am a happy, confident woman who is making her dreams come true.

 XOXO,

D. Blooming

EVERYTHING IS BETTER WITH TEA

As a young girl I loved having tea parties with my bears and other stuffed animals.  Since I am an only child my imagination has always been expansive and vivid.  Growing up in England drinking tea was part of every time of the day.  We woke up - we drank tea. At lunch time we drank tea. In the afternoon we drank tea; and right before bedtime we had tea. 

 

When I was a child my family was really just my mom and I. My aunt and cousins moved all over the world due to my uncle’s job; so we didn’t see them much. I remember that my mom had a lot of friends who lived close by. While visiting they would sit around the dining room table sipping tea while eating finger sandwiches and biscuits (which is what we called cookies in England).  The ladies would talk for hours, while I drew pictures in my sketch book.  After a while of drawing pages and pages of different things. I would start asking, “Mum what time are we going home?”  Sometimes it was shortly after I had asked her for the fourth time. Other times, when it got too late, we would spend the night.

We moved to the United States when I was eleven. I’m not sure why we stopped drinking as much tea.  It could have been that my mom had to work longer hours or because, when we first arrived, she didn’t know many people to invite to tea time.

Moving forward to my thirties, I tried to make a point of spending more one-on-one time with my Mom.  We started visiting local tea rooms and, as we sipped, all of the memories from my childhood starting coming back.  My birthday is in January; so, when it comes to party themes, my options are limited.  I decided one year to throw a birthday tea party.  I bought my first tea set for 12, rented white chairs and joined two tables together to make a huge square.  After the guests arrived we started to chit chat over tea and sandwiches and ended the night with pink champagne and with chocolate covered strawberries.  It was one of the most memorable birthday events ever and has since become a tradition for me and my friends. 

After hosting the birthday party for some years, I gained the confidence to venture into taking my tea party on the road.  On November 21, 2014, Lady D’s Traveling Tea Party was founded and I began to share my love of tea parties with ladies of all ages. We offer all types of themes and also are able to customize the tea time according to our customer’s request.

Each time I host a tea party I feel great happiness seeing the guests smile as they enjoy tea and one another. It closes the circle of warmth that I remember so well from my childhood.

Everything is better with tea!

XOXO,

       D. Blooming

 

She Believed She Could, So She Did

 

 Should I? Could I? Was the questions that would go around and around in my head for many years when I was in a major depression state.

Before my awakening that happened about four years ago, I would constantly ask these questions to myself.

When you go through a period of depression even the simple things like folding laundry, doing the dishes are so hard to do.  I went through years of holding myself together during the work week, but when the weekend came along, all I wanted to do was be in bed.  I could barely make it to soccer games or visiting family or friends.  If I did leave the house all I could think about was what time was I getting home so I could go back to sleep. 

When I finally came to grips with myself to truly make a change.  I started off with small steps as to not to overwhelm myself by doing things that I used to do that made me happy. I started crafting again, reconnecting with friends that I hadn't talk to in so long.
I decided to also talk to my neighbors that I didn’t even know their names and embarrassing to say I had already been living in our house for over six years.

During my awakening I did finally accept that my medical depression is something I will have to deal with all my life, but when I feel that my mood is going down, I reach out to my friends, invite them over, or go to places I enjoy, have kids come over for play dates with my boys.  just something to keep myself away from isolation and then slowly fall into that dark place that I used to be in for so long.

Today I work very hard to not let my moods go up and down so drastically, I'm so in tune with my emotions and my body now, so when I feel like I'm creeping down, I quickly decide to do things that keep me happy.

Now that the weather is better I'm finally giving some TLC to my deck and working on a teatime fairy garden that I've wanted to do since I was a little girl.
My husband and I apart from running around with ours boys doing Boy scout activities and soccer, we are working on a fire pit area in our backyard, so our family can hang out together and have some good quality conversations with our kids over some delicious S’more’s
Now when I ask myself should I do this or could I do this? I do it!

Sometimes it’s not easy but there's no better feeling than completing something that you thought you could never do.


XOXO,

D. Blooming