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Wednesday, May 10, 2017

She Believed She Could, So She Did


 Should I? Could I? Was the questions that would go around and around in my head for many years when I was in a major depression state.
Before my awakening that happened about four years ago, I would constantly ask these questions to myself.

When you go through a period of depression even the simple things like folding laundry, doing the dishes are so hard to do.  I went through years of holding myself together during the work week, but when the weekend came along, all I wanted to do was be in bed.  I could barely make it to soccer games or visiting family or friends.  If I did leave the house all I could think about was what time was I getting home so I could go back to sleep. 

When I finally came to grips with myself to truly make a change.  I started off with small steps as to not to overwhelm myself by doing things that I used to do that made me happy. I started crafting again, reconnecting with friends that I hadn't talk to in so long.
I decided to also talk to my neighbors that I didn’t even know their names and embarrassing to say I had already been living in our house for over six years.

During my awakening I did finally accept that my medical depression is something I will have to deal with all my life, but when I feel that my mood is going down, I reach out to my friends, invite them over, or go to places I enjoy, have kids come over for play dates with my boys.  just something to keep myself away from isolation and then slowly fall into that dark place that I used to be in for so long.
Today I work very hard to not let my moods go up and down so drastically, I'm so in tune with my emotions and my body now, so when I feel like I'm creeping down, I quickly decide to do things that keep me happy.

Now that the weather is better I'm finally giving some TLC to my deck and working on a teatime fairy garden that I've wanted to do since I was a little girl.
My husband and I apart from running around with ours boys doing Boy scout activities and soccer, we are working on a fire pit area in our backyard, so our family can hang out together and have some good quality conversations with our kids over some delicious S’more’s
Now when I ask myself should I do this or could I do this? I do it!
Sometimes it’s not easy but there's no better feeling than completing something that you thought you could never do.


D. Blooming


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